Posts
Today brought lots of news. But all good news! That’s what you call a good day!! I think I spent 80% of it on the phone…which was the only downfall. I HATE talking on the phone. Tomorrow will most likely be the same…but after today…bring it on!!
First off we received the results from The Princess’ psych evaluation she had a few weeks ago. She was diagnosed with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and ADHD…which I expected. Autism was said to be a very slight “possible” and ODD (Obstinant Defiance Disorder) was ruled out. Yay!!! She is going to be just fine. It’s nothing we can’t get through. If I have learned anything it’s that faith and prayer get things done!!! I prayed for a good report and that she wouldn’t have to battle Autism because she already has SO much to get through. I prayed PTSD and ADHD would be it…because I knew she had it. Now we pray that being in a loving, stable home with people who love her and a large dose of Jesus will get her through PTSD. As for ADHD…it could be worse and she will be fine. The evaluation said the dominance is in hyperactivity. What a shocker! Ha-ha…she is definitely that. We just prefer to call it spirited. 8) Like I said, it could be worse.
I was pretty pumped from talking to them about her results and then it was time for her to go for her counseling. Her caseworker was picking her up today instead of the person who normally transports her. I knew this wouldn’t be easy. I told her “Mrs.______” would be picking her up instead. She said “NO! I go with ____!” Needless, to say when the caseworker got there she began screaming as soon as she walked in our front door. She jumped in Ronnie’s lap and clung to him screaming, “My Daddy!!!” and wouldn’t go. I promised her she was coming home and we would go visit Granda and play castle with her. (AKA: playing in the mud.) She was still crying when we put her in the car seat and kissed her bye. Have I mentioned yet how much I HATE when she has to leave when she clearly doesn’t want to go? I do…more than you know. She is always scared she isn’t coming back. Sheesh…so are we! We may have PTSD too from dealing with this up and down for almost 8 months. She went and was gone for almost 4 hours which was unusual since her counseling is the only thing she had to do today and it is for 1 hour. I figured they must have ended up talking and discussing things but wasn’t going to ask. I WILL be asking tomorrow, however, why she came home with a big blue bruise on her forehead. 8( I didn’t have to ask why the meeting was late…
The caseworker brought her home and she ran into the door and said “Hey, Madison! Hey, Mama!!” 8) The caseworker told me to call her at 8 o’clock the next morning to talk to her. I told her I would. But then she said, “I want to talk to you to see how ya’ll feel about adoption!” I seriously am surprised I was capable of answering her so fast, but I immediately said, “There’s no need for a phone call. The answer is yes!” She said the counselor asked today if it was possible for an open adoption. The DHS supervisor said they don’t negotiate. However, it seems we are headed towards an adoption. I am still in complete shock and awe!! Shock that it happened so fast and awe that God did exactly what I have begged for!! For her mom to sign her rights over and walk away. How incredibly awesome is that??? I sometimes thought maybe that wasn’t the right prayer or maybe that was asking something too big. I have never been more glad to be wrong. I will call tomorrow to see where we go from here…if they are going to come straight out with it and ask her if she wants to sign her rights over or if we have to wait and see. I am still praying hard that she will sign them over quickly and we can be done with the visits. I am also praying nothing happens in which we HAVE to, for some reason, let The Princess keep in touch in order to adopt. It isn’t a tie that needs to be kept in her situation. Please pray with us that bio mom will sign her rights over and will walk away completely. Thank you to those who continually pray for and encourage us. It means a great deal more than you will ever know…for us…but mainly for our girls and their future. I am thankful I know who holds their future in their hands. And it isn’t DHS or the judge.
(*I will update you again tomorrow after I talk to DHS more.*)
Highlights from the past few days:
Watching the girls play with their water guns today in their floppy sunhats of Granda’s and hearing Madison say, “I’m a lady!” when she put hers on.
The Princess talking in complete sentences for the past few days all day long!!!
Madison washing The Princess’ hair in the bathtub tonight and The Princess pretended to cry because water got in her eyes. Madison said, “I told you to close your eyes!”
Sitting at the dinner table about to eat and The Princess said, “WAIT!” and held out her hands on either side of her to say grace.
Watching the girls at the movies last night and completely LOVING it. In the middle of the movie Madison turned to The Princess and said, “I love you!” and then they hugged and kissed each other.
Hearing the girls sing as loud as they can in the backseat of the truck to the radio.
Flipping through the songs on my Adele CD in the truck and Madison says, “Wait mama, that’s my song!”
When the Princess says, “I make a name!” and then draws a picture.
Friday, October 21, 2011
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Brief Update...
This will be a brief update on our journey the past few weeks…I am sorry for not blogging lately. We are still here and these are some of the things we have done/accomplished since my last blog entry:
We have learned how to ride our bike pretty well…still need practice.
We had a blast at a Spongebob birthday party.
We have learned how to ride our bike pretty well…still need practice.
We had a blast at a Spongebob birthday party.
We got tattoos.
We went to the zoo again and had fun playing in the splash pad.
We always love seeing the animals.
And riding the carousel.
Had a bonfire with our friends.
Had a bonfire with our friends.
Made Halloween cupcakes.
Enjoyed sisterhood.
Enjoyed sisterhood.
And just been plain sweet!
Update on Madison: Mom and Legal Father have both signed their rights away as of last week. TPR (Termination of Parental Rights) will go very smoothly on November 2nd since nobody is contesting it. 8] We are beyond thrilled that this beautiful, brilliant, sweet child will be our daughter!
Update on the Princess: Court last week found her going home with us. Court again December 1st. Her Grandma has come in the picture and said she wants her. Judge gave them 30 days to see if she passes all background checks and to get her own place to live. If this is accomplished in 30 days (and she passes all screenings) The Princess will go live with her and be adopted by her if she becomes available for adoption. I am praying like I have never prayed before, stressed beyond belief, SHOCKED and terrified!!!! Please pray with us that the 30 days will go by without these things happening. I can't imagine how we would go on without her...she is our baby, our daughter, our heart and Maddie's "sissy". I can't even let my mind go there....Please pray with us!!!!
Friday, September 16, 2011
July 2, 2008....
God answered our prayer for a child even though we didn't know it at the time. On this day our miracle was born...even though she wasn't born to us. Her mom struggled with issues of her own and at birth Madison was brought to a woman who was a friend of the family. This woman we owe enormous thanks to. She took our Madison and raised her for 2 1/2 years. This woman didn't just raise Madison...she ADORED her! She kept her from many things that could have hurt Madison. If it had not been for her, Madison would not be the innocent child she is today. I will forever be grateful to this woman...God used her to watch over our Madison until she came to us. I don't know why she wasn't born to us...only that maybe she was an answer to prayers for the woman who raised her as well.
On December 22, 2010 Madison was taken from the woman who raised her and sent to a foster home. She left the foster home in mid January 2011 and was sent to live with a great aunt. And on March 23, 2011 we welcomed Madison as our daughter into our home and hearts. I won’t forget one single second of that day. She showed up looking lost and scared…today she is all smiles, laughter and gives her Mommy and Daddy tons of kisses each day. She is our little diva…insisting on make-up, jewelry, perfume, purses and girly clothes. She is everything I dreamed our little girl would be and more. She is Daddy’s girl and Mommy’s sweetheart. With a heart of gold, a smile and laugh that is contagious and dimples to boot…she has stolen our heart. God has blessed us beyond what we asked for and more than we deserve.
This past Wednesday we took Madison to say goodbye to the woman who raised her, her aunt and her 3 sisters. Her aunt never showed up with her 3 sisters. We talked to the woman for about 2 hours while our girls played and listened as she told us about Madison’s first 2 ½ years. Madison was born on time and was a laid back, easy baby. This is no shock…she is still laid back and the easiest child I have ever known. She was born with her bottom two teeth, she stood up at 6 months and crawled at 9 months. She was a late talker and walker…not doing either until after she turned 1. She then began to run and has never walked since. This is a true statement. Everywhere Madison goes…she runs to get there. We have given up telling her to walk inside the house. She didn’t talk until after she turned 1...this doesn’t surprise me as well. She has tons to say now but is quite the observer. She takes it all in and has the memory of an elephant! The scar on her left knee is from continuously climbing on a glass coffee table until she fell and cut her knee open on it. Her biological father has never been a part of her life. She proudly told the woman that Ronnie was her Daddy and pointed to him! 8) Madison has three sisters who are 13, 9 and 7. All 4 are beautiful!!
We were given a CD with pictures of Madison from birth until 2 ½ years of age when she was taken, a letter, some of her clothes, her toys (some from her 1st Christmas and some from her 1st Valentine’s Day). She took pictures of Madison with us and we took pictures of Madison with her on her camera. We gave her a CD we made with all of our pictures since we have had her. The woman bought a copy of all of the movies she used to watch with Madison to send with her and a stack of books her aunt and uncle had bought for her. We talked and exchanged email addresses and then we said goodbye. We thanked her for loving our Madison and keeping her safe. We thanked her for raising her to be such a sweet, loving child with wonderful manners and who asked to go to church to see her Jesus. She hugged Madison and told her that we were her Mommy and Daddy and she would be with us forever, that she would be safe and loved and would never be taken from us. She told her she loved her and hugged her goodbye. She had tears in her eyes as Ronnie walked her to her truck. I felt horrible for her. It’s a weird feeling…elated that this child no longer has to go back and forth and have uncertainty and that she is OURS…and heartbroken for this saint of a woman who made sure Madison was loved and safe and now had to walk away from her. I thought about telling her we would bring Madison to see her occasionally but thought better of it before talking privately to Ronnie. We loaded our girls up and Ronnie said, “How do you think it went?” I told him good but that I felt bad for her. That I thought she was sincere in her love and devotion to Madison. He then said, “I started to tell her we would bring Madison to see her but didn’t think I should until I talked to you first.” 8) God is good isn’t he? We discussed it and have decided after the adoption is final we are going to go pick up the woman every 6 months and take her to dinner so that she can visit with Madison. I will email her updates every week and leave pictures of Madison at the DHS office for her to pick up. It’s not much…but how do you repay such a debt? I want to share some pictures of our Madison with you from the first 2 ½ years of her life…before she came to her forever home.
My cup runneth over....
On December 22, 2010 Madison was taken from the woman who raised her and sent to a foster home. She left the foster home in mid January 2011 and was sent to live with a great aunt. And on March 23, 2011 we welcomed Madison as our daughter into our home and hearts. I won’t forget one single second of that day. She showed up looking lost and scared…today she is all smiles, laughter and gives her Mommy and Daddy tons of kisses each day. She is our little diva…insisting on make-up, jewelry, perfume, purses and girly clothes. She is everything I dreamed our little girl would be and more. She is Daddy’s girl and Mommy’s sweetheart. With a heart of gold, a smile and laugh that is contagious and dimples to boot…she has stolen our heart. God has blessed us beyond what we asked for and more than we deserve.
This past Wednesday we took Madison to say goodbye to the woman who raised her, her aunt and her 3 sisters. Her aunt never showed up with her 3 sisters. We talked to the woman for about 2 hours while our girls played and listened as she told us about Madison’s first 2 ½ years. Madison was born on time and was a laid back, easy baby. This is no shock…she is still laid back and the easiest child I have ever known. She was born with her bottom two teeth, she stood up at 6 months and crawled at 9 months. She was a late talker and walker…not doing either until after she turned 1. She then began to run and has never walked since. This is a true statement. Everywhere Madison goes…she runs to get there. We have given up telling her to walk inside the house. She didn’t talk until after she turned 1...this doesn’t surprise me as well. She has tons to say now but is quite the observer. She takes it all in and has the memory of an elephant! The scar on her left knee is from continuously climbing on a glass coffee table until she fell and cut her knee open on it. Her biological father has never been a part of her life. She proudly told the woman that Ronnie was her Daddy and pointed to him! 8) Madison has three sisters who are 13, 9 and 7. All 4 are beautiful!!
We were given a CD with pictures of Madison from birth until 2 ½ years of age when she was taken, a letter, some of her clothes, her toys (some from her 1st Christmas and some from her 1st Valentine’s Day). She took pictures of Madison with us and we took pictures of Madison with her on her camera. We gave her a CD we made with all of our pictures since we have had her. The woman bought a copy of all of the movies she used to watch with Madison to send with her and a stack of books her aunt and uncle had bought for her. We talked and exchanged email addresses and then we said goodbye. We thanked her for loving our Madison and keeping her safe. We thanked her for raising her to be such a sweet, loving child with wonderful manners and who asked to go to church to see her Jesus. She hugged Madison and told her that we were her Mommy and Daddy and she would be with us forever, that she would be safe and loved and would never be taken from us. She told her she loved her and hugged her goodbye. She had tears in her eyes as Ronnie walked her to her truck. I felt horrible for her. It’s a weird feeling…elated that this child no longer has to go back and forth and have uncertainty and that she is OURS…and heartbroken for this saint of a woman who made sure Madison was loved and safe and now had to walk away from her. I thought about telling her we would bring Madison to see her occasionally but thought better of it before talking privately to Ronnie. We loaded our girls up and Ronnie said, “How do you think it went?” I told him good but that I felt bad for her. That I thought she was sincere in her love and devotion to Madison. He then said, “I started to tell her we would bring Madison to see her but didn’t think I should until I talked to you first.” 8) God is good isn’t he? We discussed it and have decided after the adoption is final we are going to go pick up the woman every 6 months and take her to dinner so that she can visit with Madison. I will email her updates every week and leave pictures of Madison at the DHS office for her to pick up. It’s not much…but how do you repay such a debt? I want to share some pictures of our Madison with you from the first 2 ½ years of her life…before she came to her forever home.
My cup runneth over....
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
The Good Wife's Guide...
Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favorite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.
Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.
Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc and then run a dust cloth over the tables.
Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.
Be happy to see him.
Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first- remember his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.
Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.
Don’t greet him with complaints and problems.
Don’t complain if he’s late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.
Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
A good wife always knows her place.
This is an article from Housekeeping Monthly in May of 1955. We have come along way ladies!! I think many women would stay single if this was still the expectation of a wife. I now see why it was expected of them to stay at home...after completing all of their duties as listed they certainly wouldn't have time for anything else. I got a kick out of this article given to me by my mom and wanted to share it with all of you. I read it to my brother and his response was, "What's wrong with that? That's how it should be!" His fiance certainly has her work cut out for her. 8] So how do you rate as a wife after reading this?!?
Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.
Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc and then run a dust cloth over the tables.
Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.
Be happy to see him.
Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first- remember his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.
Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.
Don’t greet him with complaints and problems.
Don’t complain if he’s late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.
Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
A good wife always knows her place.
This is an article from Housekeeping Monthly in May of 1955. We have come along way ladies!! I think many women would stay single if this was still the expectation of a wife. I now see why it was expected of them to stay at home...after completing all of their duties as listed they certainly wouldn't have time for anything else. I got a kick out of this article given to me by my mom and wanted to share it with all of you. I read it to my brother and his response was, "What's wrong with that? That's how it should be!" His fiance certainly has her work cut out for her. 8] So how do you rate as a wife after reading this?!?
Friday, August 19, 2011
More Time...
that’s what we have all been given as of yesterday. Us with the Princess and the bio mom to get her stuff together. Court was supposed to be the 23rd of this month but yesterday I received a call from the caseworker saying the mom’s lawyer requested it be pushed back. Court is now on the 20th of September. When I hung the phone up I was ticked…livid even. She gets chance after chance, and LOTS of time. They always manage to cut her a break. I’m just wondering when they will cut the Princess a break…and give her a chance….and give her time to be a kid and sort through everything she has been through. This time I decided to just try to immediately look for a silver lining. I didn’t have to look long….this gives us another month with The Princess. I think we got the better deal.
We had to get another round of shots for the Princess yesterday to catch her up. These were her 15 month shots. She wasn’t thrilled. However, the doctor raved over how much progress she has made…he couldn’t get over how good her speech was. He said over and over how pleased he was and that he thinks that her current environment is what has helped her catch up and do so well. 8) I told him she had been diagnosed with PTSD and ADHD primarily hyperactivity and that they said the issue of whether or not she should be medicated should be raised. From listening to his thoughts on ADHD I don’t think he is going to recommend medication. I am thrilled. You may judge me for that and that’s okay. I don’t judge those who choose to medicate…I just prefer not to. I do know this could change, but we will deal with that when the time comes. Both girls’ lungs sounded good…I asked him to check to make sure we had fully recovered from Bronchitis. It’s the second time we have had it in the last 4 months so I wanted to be sure!!
I told you in my last post that they said her mom had until November to have everything in order to get The Princess back, but I thought it was until January because that’s when she came to us. I am happy…no thrilled….to tell you that I was wrong!! She has until November 15th . The bad news is that they could give her an extension of 3 months. The way this case is going, I wouldn’t be surprised. But I have to focus on the silver lining…more time with our Princess. And I think someone nailed it when they told me, “If she hasn’t shown us anything by now after 8 months, she isn’t going to. But you have to remember who is in control. Time doesn’t matter…it’s all up to God.” I have never in my life had to rely so much on the grace, compassion and justice of God. It’s a good place to be.
We had to get another round of shots for the Princess yesterday to catch her up. These were her 15 month shots. She wasn’t thrilled. However, the doctor raved over how much progress she has made…he couldn’t get over how good her speech was. He said over and over how pleased he was and that he thinks that her current environment is what has helped her catch up and do so well. 8) I told him she had been diagnosed with PTSD and ADHD primarily hyperactivity and that they said the issue of whether or not she should be medicated should be raised. From listening to his thoughts on ADHD I don’t think he is going to recommend medication. I am thrilled. You may judge me for that and that’s okay. I don’t judge those who choose to medicate…I just prefer not to. I do know this could change, but we will deal with that when the time comes. Both girls’ lungs sounded good…I asked him to check to make sure we had fully recovered from Bronchitis. It’s the second time we have had it in the last 4 months so I wanted to be sure!!
I told you in my last post that they said her mom had until November to have everything in order to get The Princess back, but I thought it was until January because that’s when she came to us. I am happy…no thrilled….to tell you that I was wrong!! She has until November 15th . The bad news is that they could give her an extension of 3 months. The way this case is going, I wouldn’t be surprised. But I have to focus on the silver lining…more time with our Princess. And I think someone nailed it when they told me, “If she hasn’t shown us anything by now after 8 months, she isn’t going to. But you have to remember who is in control. Time doesn’t matter…it’s all up to God.” I have never in my life had to rely so much on the grace, compassion and justice of God. It’s a good place to be.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
The Waiting Game....
I am exhausted and could fall asleep standing up today…I do not know why. Because of that, this post will be short and I am going to collapse in bed. And pray the girls are feeling just as tired and sleep in. Tomorrow we have an appointment for The Princess to get another round of shots. (For those who don’t know, she never had shots after 6 weeks of age and is getting caught up on immunizations. She will be done with this in November as we do a little at a time.) I am not excited about this. We will have to find a way to cheer her up afterwards. I hate that she has to get it done….it is awful. It breaks my heart the way she screams and begs us not to make her get them. I always end up crying along side her. I am sure they think we are a bunch of nut jobs.
The Princess did well today at her appointments and they said her visit with mom went pretty well this time…usually it’s a fighting match they have to break up. I did find out why she came home with no panties on yesterday which I didn't know until much later when i walked in the bathroom to check on her while pottying. I asked her where her panties were and she said home. Today I was told she had an accident yesterday during counseling. She has yet to have one since she woke up one day moths ago and decided to ditch her pull ups. Anxiety. That she was scared and nervous enough for this to happen makes me see red!!
Her speech therapist is amazed at how well her speech is and that she is using complete sentences now. This makes for a happy and very proud Mama!! Madison and I stayed home and visited with my brother’s fiancé and did puzzles and laughed. She was a perfect distraction to my thoughts. She has the sweetest spirit. She asked when The Princess would be home and finally said she was tired and wanted her nap. I got tons of housework done and am proud to say….the MOUNTAIN of clothes has been demolished. For today. I am sure it will be back within the blink of an eye! How do 4 people…two of them very tiny….dirty so much laundry?? Anyways, I am trying not to bore you to death!!
As I mentioned on face book earlier today, it seemed the caseworker yesterday jumped the gun in telling me adoption was where we were headed. Today when I called her she said that she was asking us in case this is what happened…which she thinks will. I asked her if bio mom had said she wanted to sign over rights and the answer was no. I think they assumed…although the reason they assumed is legit. I hate assumptions…they give false hope. Hope is what we cling to around here!! When the worker who transports the Princess brought her home she was sacked out sleeping and continued to as I picked her up and put her in the car seat and slept for another 30 minutes. It gave me the chance to talk to the worker who smiled very big and said, “I saw on her file today her worker wrote that she had asked ya’ll about adoption and you said you wanted to.” I don’t know how to interpret the smile. I am taking it with a grain of salt…but hoping. It’s what we do. We hope. Bio mom was supposed to talk to the caseworker today after her visit with The Princess but haven’t heard yet how that went. They were going to ask her again if there are any relatives that could be a relative placement should she come up for adoption. There never has been or she wouldn’t have been placed with us. Mom always said there was nobody. Not sure what her answer was today. However, I feel reassured by my friend, who has been on this journey a lot longer than Ronnie and I, that they have to pass lots of screenings and background checks and so forth and only have 21 days to get their license. Not really worried about that happening. It’s been 9 months…if they were interested in having her I guess they would have already stepped up. Again we hope.
There was a possible silver lining in all of this. The woman who transports the Princess also said that the mom has until November to get her back and have everything in order. I told her this couldn’t be true because she has a year and the Princess came to us in January. The 6th to be exact. She said they had started a case on her in November…but that maybe she was wrong. I am praying she is right.
I apologize that this post seems gloom and doom…we are really okay. We are trying to find the balance of trusting in God and not getting our hopes up. It’s not an easy thing to do. I don’t even know if it’s possible. Ask me later. Things are up in the air and we worry. But I know who is in control and He does an excellent job. And tonight, we have two beautiful girls sleeping in their beds. And they are SAFE. And very much loved. And that is enough for today. God is already in tomorrow.
The Princess did well today at her appointments and they said her visit with mom went pretty well this time…usually it’s a fighting match they have to break up. I did find out why she came home with no panties on yesterday which I didn't know until much later when i walked in the bathroom to check on her while pottying. I asked her where her panties were and she said home. Today I was told she had an accident yesterday during counseling. She has yet to have one since she woke up one day moths ago and decided to ditch her pull ups. Anxiety. That she was scared and nervous enough for this to happen makes me see red!!
Her speech therapist is amazed at how well her speech is and that she is using complete sentences now. This makes for a happy and very proud Mama!! Madison and I stayed home and visited with my brother’s fiancé and did puzzles and laughed. She was a perfect distraction to my thoughts. She has the sweetest spirit. She asked when The Princess would be home and finally said she was tired and wanted her nap. I got tons of housework done and am proud to say….the MOUNTAIN of clothes has been demolished. For today. I am sure it will be back within the blink of an eye! How do 4 people…two of them very tiny….dirty so much laundry?? Anyways, I am trying not to bore you to death!!
As I mentioned on face book earlier today, it seemed the caseworker yesterday jumped the gun in telling me adoption was where we were headed. Today when I called her she said that she was asking us in case this is what happened…which she thinks will. I asked her if bio mom had said she wanted to sign over rights and the answer was no. I think they assumed…although the reason they assumed is legit. I hate assumptions…they give false hope. Hope is what we cling to around here!! When the worker who transports the Princess brought her home she was sacked out sleeping and continued to as I picked her up and put her in the car seat and slept for another 30 minutes. It gave me the chance to talk to the worker who smiled very big and said, “I saw on her file today her worker wrote that she had asked ya’ll about adoption and you said you wanted to.” I don’t know how to interpret the smile. I am taking it with a grain of salt…but hoping. It’s what we do. We hope. Bio mom was supposed to talk to the caseworker today after her visit with The Princess but haven’t heard yet how that went. They were going to ask her again if there are any relatives that could be a relative placement should she come up for adoption. There never has been or she wouldn’t have been placed with us. Mom always said there was nobody. Not sure what her answer was today. However, I feel reassured by my friend, who has been on this journey a lot longer than Ronnie and I, that they have to pass lots of screenings and background checks and so forth and only have 21 days to get their license. Not really worried about that happening. It’s been 9 months…if they were interested in having her I guess they would have already stepped up. Again we hope.
There was a possible silver lining in all of this. The woman who transports the Princess also said that the mom has until November to get her back and have everything in order. I told her this couldn’t be true because she has a year and the Princess came to us in January. The 6th to be exact. She said they had started a case on her in November…but that maybe she was wrong. I am praying she is right.
I apologize that this post seems gloom and doom…we are really okay. We are trying to find the balance of trusting in God and not getting our hopes up. It’s not an easy thing to do. I don’t even know if it’s possible. Ask me later. Things are up in the air and we worry. But I know who is in control and He does an excellent job. And tonight, we have two beautiful girls sleeping in their beds. And they are SAFE. And very much loved. And that is enough for today. God is already in tomorrow.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Forever.....
Today brought lots of news. But all good news! That’s what you call a good day!! I think I spent 80% of it on the phone…which was the only downfall. I HATE talking on the phone. Tomorrow will most likely be the same…but after today…bring it on!!
First off we received the results from The Princess’ psych evaluation she had a few weeks ago. She was diagnosed with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and ADHD…which I expected. Autism was said to be a very slight “possible” and ODD (Obstinant Defiance Disorder) was ruled out. Yay!!! She is going to be just fine. It’s nothing we can’t get through. If I have learned anything it’s that faith and prayer get things done!!! I prayed for a good report and that she wouldn’t have to battle Autism because she already has SO much to get through. I prayed PTSD and ADHD would be it…because I knew she had it. Now we pray that being in a loving, stable home with people who love her and a large dose of Jesus will get her through PTSD. As for ADHD…it could be worse and she will be fine. The evaluation said the dominance is in hyperactivity. What a shocker! Ha-ha…she is definitely that. We just prefer to call it spirited. 8) Like I said, it could be worse.
I was pretty pumped from talking to them about her results and then it was time for her to go for her counseling. Her caseworker was picking her up today instead of the person who normally transports her. I knew this wouldn’t be easy. I told her “Mrs.______” would be picking her up instead. She said “NO! I go with ____!” Needless, to say when the caseworker got there she began screaming as soon as she walked in our front door. She jumped in Ronnie’s lap and clung to him screaming, “My Daddy!!!” and wouldn’t go. I promised her she was coming home and we would go visit Granda and play castle with her. (AKA: playing in the mud.) She was still crying when we put her in the car seat and kissed her bye. Have I mentioned yet how much I HATE when she has to leave when she clearly doesn’t want to go? I do…more than you know. She is always scared she isn’t coming back. Sheesh…so are we! We may have PTSD too from dealing with this up and down for almost 8 months. She went and was gone for almost 4 hours which was unusual since her counseling is the only thing she had to do today and it is for 1 hour. I figured they must have ended up talking and discussing things but wasn’t going to ask. I WILL be asking tomorrow, however, why she came home with a big blue bruise on her forehead. 8( I didn’t have to ask why the meeting was late…
The caseworker brought her home and she ran into the door and said “Hey, Madison! Hey, Mama!!” 8) The caseworker told me to call her at 8 o’clock the next morning to talk to her. I told her I would. But then she said, “I want to talk to you to see how ya’ll feel about adoption!” I seriously am surprised I was capable of answering her so fast, but I immediately said, “There’s no need for a phone call. The answer is yes!” She said the counselor asked today if it was possible for an open adoption. The DHS supervisor said they don’t negotiate. However, it seems we are headed towards an adoption. I am still in complete shock and awe!! Shock that it happened so fast and awe that God did exactly what I have begged for!! For her mom to sign her rights over and walk away. How incredibly awesome is that??? I sometimes thought maybe that wasn’t the right prayer or maybe that was asking something too big. I have never been more glad to be wrong. I will call tomorrow to see where we go from here…if they are going to come straight out with it and ask her if she wants to sign her rights over or if we have to wait and see. I am still praying hard that she will sign them over quickly and we can be done with the visits. I am also praying nothing happens in which we HAVE to, for some reason, let The Princess keep in touch in order to adopt. It isn’t a tie that needs to be kept in her situation. Please pray with us that bio mom will sign her rights over and will walk away completely. Thank you to those who continually pray for and encourage us. It means a great deal more than you will ever know…for us…but mainly for our girls and their future. I am thankful I know who holds their future in their hands. And it isn’t DHS or the judge.
(*I will update you again tomorrow after I talk to DHS more.*)
Highlights from the past few days:
Watching the girls play with their water guns today in their floppy sunhats of Granda’s and hearing Madison say, “I’m a lady!” when she put hers on.
The Princess talking in complete sentences for the past few days all day long!!!
Madison washing The Princess’ hair in the bathtub tonight and The Princess pretended to cry because water got in her eyes. Madison said, “I told you to close your eyes!”
Sitting at the dinner table about to eat and The Princess said, “WAIT!” and held out her hands on either side of her to say grace.
Watching the girls at the movies last night and completely LOVING it. In the middle of the movie Madison turned to The Princess and said, “I love you!” and then they hugged and kissed each other.
Hearing the girls sing as loud as they can in the backseat of the truck to the radio.
Flipping through the songs on my Adele CD in the truck and Madison says, “Wait mama, that’s my song!”
When the Princess says, “I make a name!” and then draws a picture.
First off we received the results from The Princess’ psych evaluation she had a few weeks ago. She was diagnosed with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and ADHD…which I expected. Autism was said to be a very slight “possible” and ODD (Obstinant Defiance Disorder) was ruled out. Yay!!! She is going to be just fine. It’s nothing we can’t get through. If I have learned anything it’s that faith and prayer get things done!!! I prayed for a good report and that she wouldn’t have to battle Autism because she already has SO much to get through. I prayed PTSD and ADHD would be it…because I knew she had it. Now we pray that being in a loving, stable home with people who love her and a large dose of Jesus will get her through PTSD. As for ADHD…it could be worse and she will be fine. The evaluation said the dominance is in hyperactivity. What a shocker! Ha-ha…she is definitely that. We just prefer to call it spirited. 8) Like I said, it could be worse.
I was pretty pumped from talking to them about her results and then it was time for her to go for her counseling. Her caseworker was picking her up today instead of the person who normally transports her. I knew this wouldn’t be easy. I told her “Mrs.______” would be picking her up instead. She said “NO! I go with ____!” Needless, to say when the caseworker got there she began screaming as soon as she walked in our front door. She jumped in Ronnie’s lap and clung to him screaming, “My Daddy!!!” and wouldn’t go. I promised her she was coming home and we would go visit Granda and play castle with her. (AKA: playing in the mud.) She was still crying when we put her in the car seat and kissed her bye. Have I mentioned yet how much I HATE when she has to leave when she clearly doesn’t want to go? I do…more than you know. She is always scared she isn’t coming back. Sheesh…so are we! We may have PTSD too from dealing with this up and down for almost 8 months. She went and was gone for almost 4 hours which was unusual since her counseling is the only thing she had to do today and it is for 1 hour. I figured they must have ended up talking and discussing things but wasn’t going to ask. I WILL be asking tomorrow, however, why she came home with a big blue bruise on her forehead. 8( I didn’t have to ask why the meeting was late…
The caseworker brought her home and she ran into the door and said “Hey, Madison! Hey, Mama!!” 8) The caseworker told me to call her at 8 o’clock the next morning to talk to her. I told her I would. But then she said, “I want to talk to you to see how ya’ll feel about adoption!” I seriously am surprised I was capable of answering her so fast, but I immediately said, “There’s no need for a phone call. The answer is yes!” She said the counselor asked today if it was possible for an open adoption. The DHS supervisor said they don’t negotiate. However, it seems we are headed towards an adoption. I am still in complete shock and awe!! Shock that it happened so fast and awe that God did exactly what I have begged for!! For her mom to sign her rights over and walk away. How incredibly awesome is that??? I sometimes thought maybe that wasn’t the right prayer or maybe that was asking something too big. I have never been more glad to be wrong. I will call tomorrow to see where we go from here…if they are going to come straight out with it and ask her if she wants to sign her rights over or if we have to wait and see. I am still praying hard that she will sign them over quickly and we can be done with the visits. I am also praying nothing happens in which we HAVE to, for some reason, let The Princess keep in touch in order to adopt. It isn’t a tie that needs to be kept in her situation. Please pray with us that bio mom will sign her rights over and will walk away completely. Thank you to those who continually pray for and encourage us. It means a great deal more than you will ever know…for us…but mainly for our girls and their future. I am thankful I know who holds their future in their hands. And it isn’t DHS or the judge.
(*I will update you again tomorrow after I talk to DHS more.*)
Highlights from the past few days:
Watching the girls play with their water guns today in their floppy sunhats of Granda’s and hearing Madison say, “I’m a lady!” when she put hers on.
The Princess talking in complete sentences for the past few days all day long!!!
Madison washing The Princess’ hair in the bathtub tonight and The Princess pretended to cry because water got in her eyes. Madison said, “I told you to close your eyes!”
Sitting at the dinner table about to eat and The Princess said, “WAIT!” and held out her hands on either side of her to say grace.
Watching the girls at the movies last night and completely LOVING it. In the middle of the movie Madison turned to The Princess and said, “I love you!” and then they hugged and kissed each other.
Hearing the girls sing as loud as they can in the backseat of the truck to the radio.
Flipping through the songs on my Adele CD in the truck and Madison says, “Wait mama, that’s my song!”
When the Princess says, “I make a name!” and then draws a picture.
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